I received this in an email today and Wow

This is beautiful! Try not to cry.
She jumped up as soon as she saw the surgeon come out of the operating room.She said: 'How is my little boy ? Is he going to be all right ? When can I see him?'The surgeon said, 'I'm sorry. We did all we could, but your boy didn't make it.' Sally said, 'Why do little children get cancer ? Doesn't God care any more? Where were you, God, when my son needed you ?'The surgeon asked, 'Would you like some time alone with your son ? One of the nurses will be out in a few minutes, before he's transported to the university.' Sally asked the nurse to stay with her while she said good bye to son. She ranher fingers lovingly through his thick red curly hair. 'Would you like a lock of his hair ?' the nurse asked. Sally nodded yes. The nurse cut a lock of the boy's hair, put it in a plasticbag and handed it to Sally.The mother said, 'It was Jimmy's idea to donate his body to the University for Study. He said it might help somebody else. 'I said no at first, butJimmy said, 'Mom, I won't be using it after I die. Maybe it will help someother little boy spend one more day with his Mom.' She went on, 'My Jimmy had a heart of gold. Always thinking of someone else. Always wanting tohelp others if he could.' Sally walked out of Children's Mercy Hospital for the last time, after spendingmost of the last six months there. She put the bag with Jimmy's belongings on the seat beside her in the car.The drive home was difficult. It was even harder to enter the empty house. Shecarried Jimmy's belongings, and the plastic bag with the lock of his hair toher son's room. She started placing the model cars and other personal things back in his roomexactly where he had always kept them. She laid down across his bed and,hugging his pillow, cried herself to sleep. It was around midnight when Sally awoke. Laying beside her on the bed was afolded letter. The letter said : 'Dear Mom,
I know you're going to miss me; but don't think that I willever forget you, or stop loving you, just 'cause I'm not around to say 'I Love You' . I will always loveyou, Mom, even more with each day. Someday we will see each other again. Untilthen, if you want to adopt a little boy so you won't be so lonely, that's okay with me. He can have my room and old stuff to play with. But, if you decide toget a girl instead, she probably wouldn't like the same things us boys do.You'll have to buy her dolls and stuff girls like, you know. Don't be sad thinking about me.
This really is a neat place. Grandma and Grandpa met me assoon as I got here and showed me around some, but it will take a long time tosee everything. The angels are so cool. I love to watch them fly. And, you know w! hat? Jesus doesn't look like any of his pictures. Yet, when I saw Him, Iknew it was Him. Jesus himself took me to see GOD !
And guess what, Mom ? I gotto sit on God's knee and talk to Him, like I was somebody important. That's when I told Him that I wanted to write you a letter, to tell you good bye andeverything. But I already knew that wasn't allowed. Well, you know what Mom ?God handed me some paper and His own personal pen to write you this letter. I think Gabriel is the name of the angel who is going to drop this letter off toyou.
God said for me to give you the answer to one of the questions you askedHim 'Where was He when I needed him ?' 'God said He was in the same place with me, as when His son Jesus was on the cross. He was right there, as Healways is with all His children. Oh, by the way, Mom, no one else can see whatI've written except you. To everyone else this is ! just a blank piece of paper. Isn't that cool ? I have to g ive God His pen back now He needs it towrite some more names in the Book of Life. Tonight I get to sit at the tablewith Jesus for supper. I'm sure the food will be great. Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. I don't hurt anymore. The cancer is all gone.I'm glad because I couldn't stand that pain anymore and God couldn't stand tosee me hurt so much, either. That's when He sent The Angel of Mercy to come get me. The Angel said I was a Special Delivery ! How about that ? Signed with Love from God, Jesus & Me.

Sales, sales and more sales!

Oh what a wonderful world. For anyone who knows me I am all about coupons and finding the best deal. I clip coupons every Sunday and have a super way to organize them. I rarely if ever pay full price for anything. I know it will go on sale eventually and if it doesn't I am not meant to have it. Well, this is my favorite time of year. I also vowed that this year I would be all done Shopping for Christmas before December. Yes that's right! As a child I remember my grandmother buying gifts as early as January and I would think how crazy, but now as an adult I say what a wonderful idea. Lol I started shopping today and not on purpose at all. You see I went to Target to buy a birthday gift for a birthday party this weekend only to find they had four aisles of toys at 75% off. Oh what a wonderful sign to see up. So I got stuff for birthdays and gifts for next year at Christmas and already have two people off my list for next Christmas. I got so much stuff and spent little one thing I got retailed not so long ago for $80 and I got it for $20.
Another great store is also having an amazing sale. That store is Old Navy. They are having the additional 50% off the clearance prices. What a great time to stock up if you have little ones on the next size up. I went last year and for my son pants for 5 buck when I would normally pay twenty.
Fred Meyer I hear is also having an additional 40% of their clearance prices including house hold items.
If you are a thrifty shopper you too know what a great time of year this is and will most likely be doing what I will be doing this weekend and that is SHOPPING!

What kind of person have you become?

The other day as I sat and reflected in the year that is slowly coming to an end I realized there were tons of things I wish I would have done, but didn't for what ever reason. I don't want next year to be the same. I want to take more risk and not always think of what might happen. Who really cares what happens if I fall I will just get back up and try again. I want to be less responsible ( I don't mean I want to make careless choices). I mean I get more stress because I worry about what the right choice is. I look at these people who look carefree, and their life is pretty together. If I want to go camping I should. If I want to eat take out for a week I should. If I want a shirt I should buy it. If I don't want to be friends with some one I shouldn't. I just don't want to be so afraid to take a risk. I also want to slow down and enjoy life. I mean what difference does it make if I am ten minutes early or just on time? And I don't want to have to explain why all the time.
So here is to a better person in 2008!

Old age is catching me.....

The other say as I stood in front of the mirror doing my hair I catch a glimpse of my second gray hair. Now the other one I had found a week earlier I just pulled out thinking maybe I was just seeing things. I also noticed wrinkles on my forehead in which I didn't have before. I can't believe what the mirror is showing me. I thought I would never get old and here at twenty five I have my second gray hair and wrinkles.

What did I do so wrong?

This morning my neighbor ask my boyfriend if we had a baby because her brother dropped off some formula and she wouldn't have a baby for another 4 months.
So usually I am fine hearing that someone is expecting and I am actually happy for them because they get to experience motherhood and all the wonderful things it offers. But today is not one of those days. I already question this ladies parenting skills with the child she already has. Now I am in no way saying I am a saint of a parent because Lord knows I have made tons of mistakes raising my own child. At first the thought of her having a baby didn't bother me but as I sat there thinking of the kind of parent she is, I started to wonder why. Why is it okay for people like her to have baby after baby and keep them and I can't. I am a good mom and yet I had to give my baby to some one else because I couldn't care for him. And this lady gets to wake up every night by the crying of her new baby. I am not jealous all I want to know is why. Why is it okay for some people to have all that it takes to have a baby and why is it not for others. I understand that it takes a strong person to do what I did and all the mothers before me and those who will follow.
Now I live in fear of ever having another child for the fear that my child that I placed will somehow think I didn't love him enough to keep him. Which isn't the case at all.

An Amazing Gift

Tonight when I got home there was a note from the post man saying they tried to deliver a package and I wasn't home so it was at the office. I walked up not knowing what it was..... and once I got there I figured out it was the box from my son and his parents. Well I couldn't wait to get home because A had informed me that there were pictures in the box. Sure enough there were and OH MY WHAT AN AMAZING LITTLE BOY! His smile just melted my heart and made me smile my self. She had included some from when they went to the pumpkin patch and of him in his Halloween costume, and the ones of him on his big boy bike. In each there was a smile worth a million words. I looked at him in disbelief of how big he has gotten. He has hair and lots of it and its in curls. Though his smiles I see how happy he is. I am grateful for the amazing gift of Pictures.

If you had it to do all over again would you pick the same parents?

If or even if I didn't know what I know now about my sons parents I would with out a doubt pick them again to be his parents. They are meant to be Jaodn's mom and dad. Plus the joy I saw on their faces when he arrived in to the world was priceless. Plus they include me in in the important parts of his life and I never feel as if I am not part of it. They are also amazing with my other son who loves when we visit. They are Christians which is very important. Most of all his mom has become a close friend of mine. When something great happens she is one of the first people I want to call. His dad is quiet like me, you see some times I just don't know what to say when people are around. They have great smiles. Plus they match......meaning he looks like them a lot. To me it would be odd if he didn't look like his parents. They were exactly what I wanted in parents. You know they say you don't get to choose your parents.... well I picked his and they are great.