I want to start by saying this is just my opinion and we are all entitled to them, and to each person their own.
Anyhow, I was surfing the web to find things on the recalled toys and then when I was done I decided to see if the Seattle times had ever run an article on adoption and to my surprise they did just recently.
http://archives.seattletimes.nwsource.com/cgi-bin/texis.cgi/web/vortex/display?slug=gaydads13m&date=20070813&query=gay+parenting
This plays a diffrent view on adoption and I find my self okay with the topic and I also see the challenges that can be faced in a situation. First off my hat goes off to the people of the same sex who choose to pressue adoption to help fill their dream. Second to the moms out there that go aginst society and give these couples a chance to parent. Its nice to know they have groups where they can come together and talk about the challenges that they face as parents.
I hope the biirth parents are involved somehow so that the child knows both sides of the story just like any other adoption.
So I would like to know how other feel about this.
Thursday, August 16, 2007
Who moved my Cheese?
Today I started to listen to the CD of Who Moved my Cheese, well I would say its something every one should listen to. First off I know first hand that change scares the daylights out of me. Time and time again I find my self wondering about the possibilities out there but yet the thought of stepping out of my comfort zone makes me to scared to even take the first step. On the cd they talk about how fear is so much stronger in our minds than it is in the real situation. My goal is to try something new every year and here we are half way though the year and I haven't tried even one of the things I wanted to do this year. Its not just trying new thing, but starting new relationships or even advancing at my job. The unknown is so over whelming. In the cd they talk about how different people deal with change, and some get so caught up in fear that when change happens they have no idea how to function. If it were as easy as they make it sound in the cd.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Is it possible?
I should have part of this down by now since its been almost a year since I gave my son up for adoption and a year since he went home with his parents. But.... here is what I don't know is how do you balance all the people on the same balance beam when every ones role and feelings are so different. I mean at times it feels as if we are all in a boat and the waves are coming in and yet we feel like there is nothing we can do to help make the boat stable with out hurting some one on the boat. I know that there have been moms before me who have gone through this and made it and I also know there are moms who are in this with me and have no idea what to do. So what I mean by all of this is how do you keep the feelings of the adoptive family in check and those of the birth father in check and those of your child whom you placed up for adoption and those of the child you are still raising and your own feelings in check and are able to do this with out being so stress and feeling like you are letting some one down along the way.
I feel as if my future choices of a family are based on the feelings of a child who I don't want to feel unwanted and unloved because that was never and will never be the case.
Then I have the feelings of a child that I raise and ( that's a topic for a later blog).
The feelings of the birth father, even though we make small talk and try to convey our feelings I am not sure that either of us have just come out and said what we thought of the other person. I feel bad sometimes when I talk to him as I know the most up to date information on our son and sometimes hold back sharing because I may hit a nerve.
The feelings of the adoptive parents play a huge role. I don't want to over step any boundary's there as they are the closest people to my son. I don't want to ever sound naive or over bearing. there are lots more but I just don't know how to spit it out.
The last but not least come your feelings on how do tell your self everyday that this was the best choice to have been made and there were no other options. You feelings of Jealousy when you see another mother and her child and ask your self why her and not me?
At some point this all clicks together right?
I feel as if my future choices of a family are based on the feelings of a child who I don't want to feel unwanted and unloved because that was never and will never be the case.
Then I have the feelings of a child that I raise and ( that's a topic for a later blog).
The feelings of the birth father, even though we make small talk and try to convey our feelings I am not sure that either of us have just come out and said what we thought of the other person. I feel bad sometimes when I talk to him as I know the most up to date information on our son and sometimes hold back sharing because I may hit a nerve.
The feelings of the adoptive parents play a huge role. I don't want to over step any boundary's there as they are the closest people to my son. I don't want to ever sound naive or over bearing. there are lots more but I just don't know how to spit it out.
The last but not least come your feelings on how do tell your self everyday that this was the best choice to have been made and there were no other options. You feelings of Jealousy when you see another mother and her child and ask your self why her and not me?
At some point this all clicks together right?
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
