How many kids do you have?

This is an easy question but so hard to answer. Most of the time I answer 2 with out even thinking. I mean I really do have two but only raise one. Sometimes I explain it but that gets tough sometimes. Or if I don't and people are like wow you do all that and have a two year old and I feel bad because then I feel the need to tell them I don't raise him, but I just leave it be and they think I am super woman. Bad I know but I just can't bring my self to say I only have one, even after all this time.

Update on my co worker

Please keep her in your prayers. She has to see a specialist as they thinkits a tumor or cancer.

Please pray for my co worker

My co worker has been experiencing some bad headaches lately, so on Tuesday she went in for some testing. On Wed. they told her that it may be a blood clot, but they wanted to do more testing, so today she went in and they now think there is a mass of fluid causing the pressure, which will need to be drained. She will find out in three days what her options are. Then yesterday after finding out that there is some thing wrong with her, her uncle passed away at an early age. If you could just pray for her I would appreciate it.

I want to donate my Uterus!

I have been having a bad week and then this lady that came in to my work who I know from work and we were sitting there chatting when she told me she was getting certified to become a foster parent. We have talked about adoption before and the fact that she wasn't able to have children. My heart breaks when I think of people who really want to be a mom and can't be for what ever reason. I think she would be a great mom. So as we talked it came about of why she couldn't have children. Well, right before she walked in the door I had looked up the clinic to call to schedule to have my tubes tied. I am done having babies, so with that still up on my screen and me talking to her, I just spit out if I could I would give you my Uterus. She said that was the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to her. I then explained to her that I didn't have a use for mine anymore and I was serious if there was a way then I was more than willing.

I understand the fact that we would have to be a perfect match for this to even happen, but I feel if God wants it to happen then it will. I also found out that the procedure is very experimental still. I believe it is worth a try. I did find out that since 1958 there have been 7,000 pregnancies as a result of a transplanted Uterus. if they can transplant the parts of your eyeball and give people sight for the first time, then why can't they do the same with a Uterus? I also got to thinking if for some reason I am not able to help her then there must be someone out there that I can help.

We are all here for different reasons and sometimes we have no idea what. But I feel that I am meant to help people become mom's. I already helped one mom and I saw the joy in her face when she saw her son for the first time, and if I can bring that same joy to someone else, by all means. I think this would give my life purpose.

Does anyone Read this?

I am just wondering if anyone even reads my blog. So if you could please let me know thanks. I feel like I write here and no one reads it and if thats the case I will just delete it.

Finals

So this week I have been taking finals. Boy let me tell you I can't wait for this quarter to be over and done with. It has been a rocky one which I am slowly pulling a head I hope. Next time I am goign to manage my time better. Becasue I have two months to figure it out hopw to function with work school and two children. I just keep the end goal in sight and it will all be worth it. I admire all the moms that have done this before me.

Life goes on

The other day I realized that life wasn't going to pause for me to mourn my mom. I still have to wake up everyday and function as if I didn't loose someone I really did care about. That I would soon do things that I hadn't done since she passed away. Like travel the last part of the road on my trip back from TX, or step foot in a church. Over the past few months I have been wondering if it would have been easier if I hadn't pushed her out of my life and spent the last part of hers with her, or is it better that I wasn't close to her. All I know is it hurts and I have never felt this kind of hurt before.