Life goes on

The other day I realized that life wasn't going to pause for me to mourn my mom. I still have to wake up everyday and function as if I didn't loose someone I really did care about. That I would soon do things that I hadn't done since she passed away. Like travel the last part of the road on my trip back from TX, or step foot in a church. Over the past few months I have been wondering if it would have been easier if I hadn't pushed her out of my life and spent the last part of hers with her, or is it better that I wasn't close to her. All I know is it hurts and I have never felt this kind of hurt before.