People in our lives

I have come to realize people come and go from our lives and that our lives change as we grow and become wise. I have realized that some people that I thought were my friends were only for the wrong reason or because I have this void in my life where I needed to help someone so I would try to be a friend to some one who I thought needed help, only to find it to be draining to me. So I have cleared my life of them, and I am trying to not get sucked back to that type of friendship. I want friends who are there when the going is good or when it is not going so hot. I want friends who I can trust with anything and and try and use what ever I tell them in confidence against me when something in the friendship goes amuck. I want someone who is honest, trusting and who has goals in life. Not someone who thinks the world owes them something, and a person who can take responsibility for their actions as an adult and not place blame. I have cut ties since my mom passed away with a few people who I thought were my friends, but turned out not to be the kind of friend I needed. It wasn't easy and it took some time, but I know that one day I will have great friends like the few I have now who mean the world to me.

Life with a ten year old.

It's now been 3 1/2 months since my brother came to live with me. The world of ten year olds is so new to me. I mean they are looking at girls and telling me he likes one of them and of course I say girlfriends at your age isn't a good idea. He is also self sufficient for the most part which then makes me think he isn't a child, but in my head I know he is and needs to beloved like all children deserve. But then when I look at him I see a child that is older and can do it him self. Its an on going battle with my mind. Weird I know. I am also getting to the point where I can hug him and tell him I love him and I mean it, and its not just because he wants to hear it. I also see my mother instincts come out when I think some one is letting him down or has the chance to so I step in and try to stop it before they do. They think I am the bad guy, but I am just protecting a child that doesn' t need any more disappointment in his life right now. SO we are making it and I know it takes time and that we have some on our side I hope and one day we will look back on this and laugh.

How many kids do you have?

This is an easy question but so hard to answer. Most of the time I answer 2 with out even thinking. I mean I really do have two but only raise one. Sometimes I explain it but that gets tough sometimes. Or if I don't and people are like wow you do all that and have a two year old and I feel bad because then I feel the need to tell them I don't raise him, but I just leave it be and they think I am super woman. Bad I know but I just can't bring my self to say I only have one, even after all this time.

Update on my co worker

Please keep her in your prayers. She has to see a specialist as they thinkits a tumor or cancer.

Please pray for my co worker

My co worker has been experiencing some bad headaches lately, so on Tuesday she went in for some testing. On Wed. they told her that it may be a blood clot, but they wanted to do more testing, so today she went in and they now think there is a mass of fluid causing the pressure, which will need to be drained. She will find out in three days what her options are. Then yesterday after finding out that there is some thing wrong with her, her uncle passed away at an early age. If you could just pray for her I would appreciate it.

I want to donate my Uterus!

I have been having a bad week and then this lady that came in to my work who I know from work and we were sitting there chatting when she told me she was getting certified to become a foster parent. We have talked about adoption before and the fact that she wasn't able to have children. My heart breaks when I think of people who really want to be a mom and can't be for what ever reason. I think she would be a great mom. So as we talked it came about of why she couldn't have children. Well, right before she walked in the door I had looked up the clinic to call to schedule to have my tubes tied. I am done having babies, so with that still up on my screen and me talking to her, I just spit out if I could I would give you my Uterus. She said that was the sweetest thing anyone had ever said to her. I then explained to her that I didn't have a use for mine anymore and I was serious if there was a way then I was more than willing.

I understand the fact that we would have to be a perfect match for this to even happen, but I feel if God wants it to happen then it will. I also found out that the procedure is very experimental still. I believe it is worth a try. I did find out that since 1958 there have been 7,000 pregnancies as a result of a transplanted Uterus. if they can transplant the parts of your eyeball and give people sight for the first time, then why can't they do the same with a Uterus? I also got to thinking if for some reason I am not able to help her then there must be someone out there that I can help.

We are all here for different reasons and sometimes we have no idea what. But I feel that I am meant to help people become mom's. I already helped one mom and I saw the joy in her face when she saw her son for the first time, and if I can bring that same joy to someone else, by all means. I think this would give my life purpose.

Does anyone Read this?

I am just wondering if anyone even reads my blog. So if you could please let me know thanks. I feel like I write here and no one reads it and if thats the case I will just delete it.