Two Visits

I decided last summer I would like to have two visits instead of four a year. I figured it would be better for everyone. But as I sit here this month I remember last year and the visit I had with Jadon. It was the first one post his placement. I remember being so nervous and not knowing what to wear. I shopped all day to find matching shirts in two different sizes. So when the boys had their pictures done they would match. I am thankful that my sons mom lets the boys have their pictures taken together. I remember walking in and he was a sleep on the bed, and I wanted him to be up. It didn't take long to help him along with that. Wow did he change in just that short amount of time. He looked like this little person. I remember how he stared at me as if he knew me from some where. I like that about him no matter how long its been since he saw me last he always gives me the look as if he knows me even if it takes him a minute.

At the same time I sit and wonder what it will be like when I see him again in March. It will be six months then since I saw him last. I know when I talk with his mom on the phone he is always chatty in the back ground which can cause me to be spacey in my conversation. So I know he will be chatty and I get excited. Well by then he will also be walking. Scary!!!!!!!!! Which means he is no longer this baby that I laid in his parents arms and exited. I also wonder about how tall he will be. Will he give me that same look or will he cling to his parents in fear of me. I know what ever it is it will be great.

This is why I think two visits are good. Well, they need time to be a family and learn what works and what doesn't. Second visits are super emotional no matter how much you think that you are prepared for them. Third Life happens and we all get wrapped up in our own. I am glad we are able to communicate other ways in the mean time though. Fourth I don't worry about if he is in good hand or not because I know he is. Plus there are huge changes to look forward to and if it doesn't work we can look at it later.